There’s a moment in our lives, for all of us, when we realise that our parents have grown old, and after a lifetime of looking to them, now they are looking to us. A lifetime of you being their ‘child’, now in some ways, that is reversed. The only way you avoid this is if you completely cut off all contact with them some time before. Otherwise it’s a stage of our lives that is impossible to ignore. It is a time that can have enormous effect on both our mental health and theirs. Everything has changed. Now you realise that you’re finally ‘grown up’. Continue reading
Parallel, and at times, intersecting, but to all those save a close few – totally distinct. One hidden from the other; one nonexistent except for the shadow it cast on my life.
When I could get out from under it, it was much easier for even me to pretend that shadow life didn’t exist. I wasn’t suffering. I wasn’t having trouble coping. I didn’t need help. Certainly, no one needed to know about it. Continue reading
Summer Solstice Girl (our Claudia) has posted a major update about her hospitalization and incredibly brave choice over on her blog. Please go read her story, it’s very important.
I am aware that, technically, there’s no such thing as a person who is an island. Even the most disconnected person has a sliver of contact with the outside world. One has to buy food and so forth.
If you pay attention to my blog, though, you’ll notice I haven’t been around much. For months, posting only sporadically. I have been isolating, you see.
I have spent as much time as possible holing up with myself. Oftentimes I feel irritable when people are around me; I just want them to leave me alone. Continue reading
I have to do something I never anticipated having to do, so forgive me if I am a bit clumsy about it. As you may remember from my last Canvas post, I have been fighting the onset of a depressive episode for some time. Unfortunately, it is a fight which I lost, and I have slipped into a very severe depressive state. It’s much more acute a situation than I have had to deal with in a long time.
Another thing that you may or may not recall is that I cannot take any medication for this. Just a few months ago, I wrote in another post: Continue reading
I am having frequent anxiety attacks.
An entirely new thing to me. I even blogged about it last year. Or maybe it was a comment on someone else’s blog? I don’t remember. But the sentiment was one of gratitude for never having experienced those crippling moments. Continue reading
I hope you know the depth of my love.
The lengths I would go to for you.
The things I would do to protect you.
The things I would do to provide for you.
The way my heart aches at what the world could do. Continue reading