Keep The Faith

There’s things I’ve done I can’t erase

Every night we fall from grace

It’s hard, with the world in your face

Try to hold on, try to hold on. . . 

~ Bon Jovi, ‘Keep the Faith’

 

I believe in the Holy Trinity, and I believe in the Blessed Virgin.

I believe in God, and I believe in science.

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A Different Kind Of Celebration

Three years ago this day, two passionate, excited, naïve bloggers propelled into cyberspace a project they had dreamed of since their most serendipitous first interactions together online.

The bloggers were, of course, yours truly and my partner in crime, Tallulah “Lulu” Stark.  The project was what you see here, A Canvas Of The Minds.

I don’t think either of us had a clue of what it would eventually become, which was key.  We had ideas and hopes and dreams, but I’ll tell you all now that I never expected then to be where we — and I — are now.  I think a little blind naïveté is just what we need sometimes.

What I don’t like about me

I have two drafts posts here on Canvas [okay, I actually have more than two but those two are… particularly difficult]. I’ve been meaning to finish them for a while. I started one back in May and the other one a bit more than a month ago. I tried again just now. Read the first one, couldn’t bring myself to write anything. Closed that tab, went to the other, felt myself being triggered again. Closed that tab too.

Sigh…

So, I’m going to write about something that has been bothering me for a while instead.

It comes out of nowhere

Sigh.

Here we are again.

Remember this: I’m NOT flaky?. Written almost a year ago.

Nothing has changed. But I found myself feeling the bite this week more than usual.

The reason, a series of non-related FB statuses.

Explanations And Understanding

I have stuck my feet back into the vast ocean of blogging.  All the way up to the ankles, though the waves seem to be hitting mid-calf more and more.

When I announced my blogging hiatus, I made it complete.  I had already begun a bit on a hiatus from all personal social media.  At least that’s what I intended it to be.  In fact, I’ve decided not to reactivate my fb account, not even a little.  I’m both happier and healthier without it.

But that leaves me with a massive dilemma, bigger in every way than the one I recently wrote about.

Ruby’s Tropical Depression

Hello, dearest readers.

I have to do something I never anticipated having to do, so forgive me if I am a bit clumsy about it.  As you may remember from my last Canvas post, I have been fighting the onset of a depressive episode for some time.  Unfortunately, it is a fight which I lost, and I have slipped into a very severe depressive state.  It’s much more acute a situation than I have had to deal with in a long time.

Another thing that you may or may not recall is that I cannot take any medication for this.  Just a few months ago, I wrote in another post:

For Your Weekend Enjoyment ~ A Brief Note From Ruby

To Our Dear Readers,

I know we have been a little shy on posts lately, for lots of reasons.  I can only speak to my own issues.  I have been fighting a depression — denying, refusing, admitting, and finally reaching out.  It has left me very short on words, even so far as being able to respond to comments and emails.  I thank all of you so very much for your patience.  Please know that I am so grateful for your words of support, and I will respond to all of the wonderful, kind things you have said to me here, on my personal blog, and also on my newest child, a somewhat under the radar “mental health past and present blog” (explanation on the last forthcoming in another post).

Hair Cuts and Detachment

I know I have depression. I know I am introverted. I know I have generalized anxiety with a good dose of SAD. I know these well at certain times. One of those times is when I get my hair cut. Here is an account of my latest visit to “Aldos”.