All of a sudden, a cape unfurls from your back and you jump on and off the sofa chanting, “Wonder Twins unite! Wonder Twins unite!”
You go to your mailbox and your nomination for “Greatest Person Alive” has finally come. It would be “Greatest Person Who Ever Lived in the History of History” except they didn’t get your audition for Idol.
Your game of tag with your preschooler became epic when you not only tagged them, but picked them up and body slammed them on their bed.
Then, you laid on top of them singing, “I am the champion!” Loudly while they look at you strangely.
You siphon all of your awesome musical ability into your own national anthem of the country that is your roof.
You can actually see your credit card literally on fire from all of that swiping. On what you ask? Post-its and cheetos.
You consider going to Urgent Care, because they scheduled your doctors appointment in an hour.
You yell angrily at the toaster to, “Hurry the hell up! I want waffles!” except you put a bagel in there.
You put your keys in the back of the toilet because you’d definitely remember they were there.
You take up yodelling, ukelele repair, interior decorating with finger paint, clock watching, flower arranging with sticks, and making butter by hand, all in the same hour.
You’ve mastered all of the above.
You shake your fist at the television, because it is uncooperative about coming on using your mind. Hey, it did yesterday!
You threaten a wall’s mother because it’s in your way.
You think the laws of gravity suck.
You have the energy to write this post.
© Tallulah “Lulu” Stark and A Canvas Of The Minds 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tallulah “Lulu” Stark and A Canvas Of The Minds with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
A Canvas Of The Minds 
I certainly understand your feelings about gravity. It’s always trying to foul me up. Sometimes you have to wonder if not floating off the earth makes it all worth while.
Sometimes, I have random bruises, because gravity is a bia. Like today. I was drinking last night and I woke up with a painless mystery bruise. Hmm.
Lulu that was brilliant, although I did find myself laughing though parts of this, only because some of what you describe I have done or do actually find myself doing,great blog girl
I was hoping people would find it amusing. Some of that stuff is actually stuff that I’ve done myself. I thought it was funny anyway, LOL!
These are great! So true! And here’s a couple of mine:
You know you’re manic when…
… at 3 AM, you decide to paint portraits of your cats on the kitchen cabinets of your rented apartment.
… at 3 AM on a different day, you walk without glasses to a convenience store on the other side of a major highway and buy 11 sweet/ salty/ carbonated items.
… at 5 AM, you begin walking the 3 miles to the nearest bus stop so you can get on an Amtrak train and visit your daughter, who doesn’t know you are coming because you just made your reservation at 3 AM.
LOL, I have a few more to append after reading your comment.
You decide that you’re going to pull an all nighter, just because you find that you are delicately gluing pieces of smashed up CD’s to a lamp. (True story).
You decide to get coffee in your pajamas at 6am from the convenience store, without your glasses, on the other side of a major highway (True story).
And I’ve only ever sat down at the bus station to wait for a bus into town to visit a friend (who is now my husband, Xan) across town. That was almost ten years ago now!
I am laughing so hard. Wonder twins unite! I do that anyway. Is that not normal?
No, it’s perfectly fine, unless you’re bouncing off of the walls, or actually think that you are a wonder twin. LOL.
So many of these hit home! 😉
Sometimes, it’s very important to find the humor in an episode.
I still have tears bursting and rolling down my cheeks. Oh heavens, I needed that laugh. Thanks so much. I am learning again to laugh. My stomach muscles are still trying to recoup from long bouts of it Saturday night.
A gal pal and I were walking across our local architectural wonder of a bridge when we both noticed every passing male driver rubber necking. Not to be proud or arrogant but we both looked pretty hot for the age of us. I was crumpled next to the concrete on the sidewalk unable to stand up and or to breath for laughing so hard.
Honestly, no one guy could really ever compare to my husband. We, I am sorry to say started to poke fun at all the other guys we had seen that night. None of them measured up. Oh the wonderment of idealizing. Much of it is true, though, not just idealizing.
Looking forward to further postings.
Hey thanks! I’m glad to be back here at Canvas. I’m going to try to mix it up with funny posts and informative ones.
You know what’s funny? I don’t know when a guy is checking me out or flirting with me. Hilariously enough, I’ve had guys tell me after they’ve immediately met me that they are really, really disinterested, with no offense. They just told me that they found it interesting that they could actually want to have a conversation with a girl they had no attraction to.
And then, eventually, they will hit on me. That, I can tell. Sometimes it’s obvious, and sometimes it’s not. I love my husband, no if, ands, or buts. This is the point where I realize that if I wasn’t with my husband, I’d have all kinds of tail, ,LOL.
Sort of familiar, but not! Except for putting things in “safe” places that I’m sure I’ll remember but inevitably will forget. Instead, I’m more likely to…
-realize that I just had the most brilliant insight ever, which will totally transform my research and set a new course for the field, and I have to tell Very Important People about it right away
-decide to make a quilt and just start sewing things without any clue as to what goes into quilting other than fabric and thread and batting
-pull out all the things and clean and organize them all very carefully and more efficiently than anyone else in the world could possibly do, all the while jumping up every two minutes to make coffee, write 10 more things on the to-do list, clean the birdbath, send a postcard, read a dozen blog posts…
-tear through my wardrobe (or any category of personal possessions) and discard half of it as unnecessary, flawed, etc. and then very thoroughly organize what remains
-write three blog posts in one morning, and still get “real” work done
-make to-do lists that fill up two pieces of notebook paper – and finish at least 2/3 of the tasks in a single day
…and then some. It’s not the kind of hypo/manic that gets noticed as abnormal, just eccentric. I usually manage to rein myself in just enough to avoid the cape unfurling, but it’s damn close on my heels.
-decide to make a quilt and just start sewing things without any clue as to what goes into quilting other than fabric and thread and batting
Done it.
-pull out all the things and clean and organize them all very carefully and more efficiently than anyone else in the world could possibly do, all the while jumping up every two minutes to make coffee, write 10 more things on the to-do list, clean the birdbath, send a postcard, read a dozen blog posts…
This one mixes well with high doses of Xanax. Been there. That’s why my jewelry box looks like it does. As soon as I get my tool bench cleaned up down here, that’s where the crafting is going to take place.
-tear through my wardrobe (or any category of personal possessions) and discard half of it as unnecessary, flawed, etc. and then very thoroughly organize what remains
I do that without mania! LOL!
For me, sometimes it’s hard to separate what is compulsive behaviors due to anxiety and what is mania. The only place I can draw a good, hard line is the motivator. If it’s mania, and the motivation is taking on a fun project, then that’s mania. If it’s a compulsion that I feel I have to do or else something is going to go badly, then that’s anxiety.
I have a lot of anxious rituals. It’s something I have to address with my doctor, because they’re coming back again.