Coming out of the Bipolar closet

8064_496679147024768_811360542_nThis post is from my blog prior to Bold & Indie.  Speculation was rife as to what was happening to me.  Family tried to make sense of it and friends were too afraid to ask.  This is how I stepped out from the shadows and into the light.


Over the past three months I have been fighting a private battle that has been tumultuous, challenging, life threatening, hard, insightful and inspiring. Continue reading


July 2012: Accepting Diagnoses

RubyWe’ve had a lot of activity within the past 24 hours, but I thought it might be nice to get July’s topic up. . . well, in July.  So.

James was on the spot, and he thought something that deserved our attention was the idea of accepting a diagnosis/diagnoses.  I think he is on to something with the importance of discussing this.  He points out that accepting diagnoses is a process, and it doesn’t just happen overnight.  In his own words, it “takes time and adjustment.”  And as he wisely brings up, the newly diagnosed, and also families of the newly diagnosed, could really benefit from our experiences with this. Continue reading

The Gifts of Bipolar Disorder

8064_496679147024768_811360542_nAs a rule of thumb, a writer should never run out of words. Yet when it came to explaining what was going on throughout my journey into madness I could not find the words to express my inner turmoil.

In 2011, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type I disorder with psychotic manifestations (visual and auditory hallucinations). The diagnosis and the surrounding experiences were certainly life changing. Two years prior however I also had another life changing experience. I was diagnosed with an Epitheliod Trophoblastic Tumor, which falls under the general heading of Gynaecological Cancer. Continue reading

Onwards & Upwards

SailorAs a person with more than her fair share of mental health problems, I find it really difficult to maintain relationships, mainly friendships (I don’t trust people enough for any other kind!).

I always put this down to perhaps I’m a horrible person. I seem to go through friends like nobodies business and always blame myself when the friendship falls apart.

Since my diagnosis with Borderline Personality Disorder (or Emotional Dysregulation Disorder, whatever you want to call it), researching the illness and the way other sufferers perceive the world has helped me realise that I’m not entirely to blame and it is my point of view of things that is askew. Continue reading

The Birds And The Bees And The Risks That We Take

RubyAlmost six months ago, I made a choice to go off of my hormonal birth control (HBC).  I wasn’t delighted about ditching this drug; I had been on one form or another of HBC pretty much all of my adult life.  But I was in a spot.  I was five nights sleepless, floridly manic, and the only medication I could take for sleep could not be taken while I was on HBC.  I discovered an interaction between my sleep med (tizanidine) and any form of hormonal birth control that, once my doctor did some research, we found out really should have killed me while I had been taking it.  No exaggeration.  The blackouts I experienced while on the combo were the scariest evidence to back this claim up. Continue reading

I Am Not OK, But That Is OK

SailorI’ve been wondering recently (as always) why I am the way I am.

I’ve been trying to come up with an explanation.

It feels like I can’t help these ways.  I think the way I think because of all that I am, and all that has happened.  I feel like I use it as an excuse, but am I allowed to feel that way? Continue reading

The Blogging Community

AngelThe more I regularly blog, the more grateful I am for the mental health blogging community.

Some of the issues I deal with have become more bearable now that I blog about them. On my blog, I’ve mentioned before that I used to visit a depression forum. I think the forum visits helped me endure through the big break. After a while, though, the forum jumped the shark for me, or I jumped the shark for the forum. I popped into the forum occasionally for a bit. I thought that I should help people out as much as I’d been helped there. Continue reading