Sleep eludes me tonight.
I have taken the appropriate doses of the appropriate pharmaceutical cocktails, to no avail. I know this feeling.
It is born of anxiety, of a tightening in the muscles at the back of my neck, and in my diaphragm, restricting my breathing. I have to pay special attention to the jaw muscles so they don’t get stuck, Heaven forfend.
Unmitigated, this can escalate into one of those dreaded “mixed states.” Highly unpleasant, although not add hard to get rid of as depression, yet more acute and all encompassing.
I hope I can accomplish a sufficient pharmaceutical knockdown, but one that won’t leave me zombified in the morning, or what passes for morning, for me.
Bumping up the Seroquel would mean dreamland for sure, but it would be fuzzland tomorrow, and I have to drive and take care of my dad. Another Ativan will have to do.
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I’m having a hard time sleeping lately too. I’m blaming it on the change of seasons, but who knows? Best I can do is take a couple of melatonin, which seems to help. I really hope my next psychiatrist takes the anxiety issues a bit more seriously, though.
Sleep. It’s been a stranger around here, too.
Seroquel. I remember my wife on it, and it was not a pretty sight. Besides the obvious fuzzy hangover, it gave her atrocious Restless Leg Syndrome… Obviously, not all meds work the same way for everyone…
I feel for you, Laura. Just because I am currently holding the insomnia at bay with medication that puts me in a state just shy of unconsciousness, doesn’t mean I don’t remember very well the difficulties that sleeplessness causes. May you find some peace tonight.
Thanks, everyone, for being such a supportive group of hearts and minds. Love and sweet sleep (at the appropriate times!) to all of you.
Sorry I’m late. Insomnia is the worst of all of it, I think. Probably worse than panic attacks. It just breaks down the mental structure entirely. Everything starts to disintegrate. Functioning too.
Ativan wasn’t cutting it for me anymore, last August. So, I wound up on tempazepam and xanax. Kind little duo. Knocks me right out, unless I’m either incredibly hypomanic, or the anxiety has gotten beyond both of their reach. Uncommon, but it has happened.
I do hope you are sleeping better now.